Yep… that was me… after what felt like the hundredth negative pregnancy test I took…
Hello Tired Troopers,
Now if that wasn’t your experience, congratulations! Seriously! I’m very happy you didn’t have to go through the heartache and anxiety that comes from having trouble getting pregnant. BUT it legit takes all the planets aligning AND a miracle to actually conceive! I’m not joking either…
Remember that crappy VHS tape from sex-ed in grade school that explained everything that needs to happen in order to actually fertilize an egg?! Well years of growing up with young friends having “woopsies” and “surprises” reinforced with TV shows and movies making getting pregnant seem so damn easy washes away the lame, realistic, clinical rendition of how many things have to go right to finally conceive! THEN a million more things have to go right in order to carry a baby to full term! Which is something I wasn’t ever able to do. I lost my first pregnancy, then I had preemie twins. My babies are happy and perfectly healthy now, but they weren’t full term. I’m incredibly lucky, but all the planets didn’t align for me to carry them to full term… I guess all but one or two actually ended up in a straight line. Mine kind of zig-zagged there at the end…
This isn’t to discourage anyone, that is not my intention. I truly believe that hope and faith are the only reasons we were finally able to have kids. Well that and not giving up, trying, trying and trying again sure was fun. And sometimes it wasn’t. Sometimes it felt more like a job and very clinical… not romantic at all. The longer it took to conceive the more and more pressure was put on “the act”. And sometimes that’s how it felt… like an act.
I just want you to realize that if you’re having a hard time conceiving that you’re not alone! If you’re having a hard time carrying a baby to full term, you’re not alone! Like I said, EVERYTHING has to go right a million times over to have a baby. First, you have to conceive, then the little thing needs to hang on and make it to at least viability. So please, please, don’t feel like there is something wrong with you or your partner. Or even if there isn’t a partner in the picture. You are just perfect and if you want children you will have children. Whether that’s in the form of conception, in vitro, surrogate, adoption, borrowing your sisters kids, borrowing your friends kids, etc. And if you choose the borrow route YOU GET TO HAVE ALL THE BEST PARTS OF PARENTHOOD THEN YOU GET TO GIVE THEM BACK and happily go on doing WHATEVER YOU WANT WHENEVER YOU WANT… Until you borrow them again… 😉
But whatever you choose or whatever comes out of it, it will be wonderful and perfect. Just because the picture doesn’t look like you thought it would or the journey wasn’t quite as you expected doesn’t mean you weren’t meant for exactly where you are and what you have or what you will have someday. You are perfect just as you are. You just keep being the best person you can be and you will never go wrong.
All my love and hopes for you! Keep going! Your stars and planets will align, I promise ❤️ it just might not be exactly how you originally planned, but it will be better than you ever imagined!