Hello Tired Troopers,
As some of you know, my hubby is a Marine. One of his brothers from service invited him to his retirement ceremony 2 years in advance. We talked about it and I said i was in if he wanted to go, or if he wanted to go just him or whatever, but I knew seeing his buddy and whoever else was going would be great for all of them. Well, surprise, surprise, hubby drug his feet, forgot, remembered again, talked to me about it, decided he didn’t want to go (it’s clear across the country from us), I tried to talk him into going, no it’s too far and the babies, blah, blah, blah.
Welp 3 weeks before the retirement ceremony hubby goes, hey soooooooooooo remember my buddies retirement? Yeahhhhhhhhhhh…………. well I’m really sorry, but I’d like to go now. Ok, well, good. When is it again? Um, so, that’s the thing, uh, it’s on the 25th. OF THIS MONTH?! Yeahhhhh. THATS IN 3 WEEKS! Yeah. Ugh, you s***, I begged you… I know, I know, you were right… (I totally made him say it again) YOU WERE RIGHT (*kiss* – which i received reluctantly).
So, I did what i do best and rallied our own troops together to make this last minute trip happen. I called upon my Mom (G’ma) and sis (The Godmother) to watch the kids, booked the flights, rental car, hotel, etc., allllllllll locked down. Then went crap, Hubby’s vasectomy is on the 19th! Ugh, I really dont want to push it (they’re 2 months out in scheduling), but can he even fly that soon after the procedure?! Is that even safe?! Ugh! So i called the doctor, doc said he didn’t advise it cause he doesn’t want him to lift a suitcase, etc. Ok, I’ll do all the lifting, etc. So we decided to keep his original appointment for the 19th. That’s a whole other story please see my blog, “It’s A Vasecto-ME, Not A Vasecto-YOU,” if you’re interested…
Once I got most everything lined out to be able to actually go and the dust started to settle, then it sank in… um, I am so not where I want to be physically for a trip like this! I’m so proud of my body for giving me my 2 amazing, perfect, babies BUT THE AFTERMATH IS STILL DEVISTATING! My body is still “destroyed” in my eyes. I actually weigh less than I did prior to being pregnant, but my poor tummy is still very stretched out. Honestly I still look pregnant, but with a “single baby” this time. Housing my two babies for almost 8 months acting as a duplex pushed my belly out past its limit and it’s just not going back. Now, have I been working out? Nope. Not even a little bit. The most exercise i get is picking my babies up and lugging them around. Oh balls! And I have to meet all his military buddies?! And their wives?! Yikes! Well, I got over this pretty quick, cause they all know we have 10 mo twins and those who don’t I’ll be sure to tell lol so I’m going to rock my post preggo new mommy bod.
This positive attitude lasted until I started trying to find what I should wear. Ever since getting pregnant all I wear is leggings and baggy tops, usually paired with a ballcap in the summer and a beanie in the winter… sooooooooooo I had some work to do. I tried on practically everything I own and it either didn’t fit or I didn’t feel good in it. Ugh, flash back to the dreaded dressing room nightmares of my youth, here we go!
So, I turned to online shopping. Amazon, help me out here! I ordered a few dresses, some off-the-shoulder tops (I think they’re comfy and sexy, hello?! Off-the-shoulder = showing some skin = sexy! … Right?! My sis thinks I wear them too much and that what I pair them with makes me look frumpy… ouch!) But of course I appreciate the honesty, I just don’t agree lol.
Well the dresses came and they were plenty fine, but again I didn’t feel good in them. I tried them on for mom and sis and i said I look kind of matronly huh? They both agreed, “well, just a little…” DAMNIT!
My saint of a sister, The Godmother, The LEGEND to the rescue! She went home and grabbed some things for me to try. Some jean shorts, a few cute shirts (not off the shoulder) and some cute dresses. Of which 2 I found i actually liked and felt pretty ok in! Hallelujah! Thank you God!!! At least i have something to fall back on cause we fly out in 4 days and I’m running out of time for Prime shipping!
Now, I sincerely hope this isn’t a big fat TMI, but I have to tell you because it really sets the tone of exactly what I was going through. So, my sis brings over the clothes, I start trying them on in the living room, kids are crawling around on the floor playing with toys, knocking stuff over, pulling books off the shelves, op one wants to be picked up, op now the other one wants to be picked up, etc., etc., sis is helping me navigate the kiddos while providing feedback once I finally get an outfit on. Hubby is laid up in our bedroom with a bag of peas on his two favorite soldiers because that morning was the big V-Day. I was honestly super glad he was indisposed and missed my fashion show fiasco!
After the first few outfits, I remembered the specific pair of undies I was currently wearing. I laughed and went hey, just don’t look at my undies… see? And I popped out from behind the couch and she dies! For some reason in the last few weeks I’ve lost 99% of my undies and the ones that were left were either in the dirty clothes or the “last resort” pair I had on. Which had a giant gaping hole right in the front! To add insult to injury i haven’t uh, “landscaped” in forever, soooooooo yep, my big ol’ bush was out and proud waving hello through the gaping hole! Such a fine moment for me! Like i said, just set the exact tone of the situation I was going through.
Her jaw dropped then she burst into laughter. I yell over her chuckles, “DUDE! I have like no underwear! I have no idea where they went, but I like lost them ALL!” She no joke goes, “Holy crap me too! I literally just put undies in my cart today, I’m just waiting for Prime Day!” To which I responded, “I just ordered a pack today so I’d have undies for our trip!!!” You CAN’T MAKE THIS UP! Needless to say we had fun during my hot-mess-express-HELP-ME-911 fashion show!
And please don’t get me wrong, body positivity on any shape, size, gender or whatever is sexy! I don’t care what you look like, I don’t care if you’re short, tall, 1lb, a million lbs, or anywhere in between! If you want to rock a crop top or sexy skirt or off-the-shoulder shirt or whatever you rock it! All I’m saying is that my body changed so fast during pregnancy, then changed again instantly when I gave birth, then left me with a body that still feels like a stranger to me. So, I’m just not used to what I have right now. I’ve found that leggings, a baggy top and usually a hat are comfy and make me feel good. That look i can and do ROCK! But having a formal event thrown in my face where I’m meeting fellow Marines who are super important to my husband and their partners who I’m sure are all lovely has just been a lot! I’m navigating this as best I can and luckily have a wonderfully supportive family and hubby who lift me up when i need it. I just know that if I’m struggling with this, others might be too. So, I’m sharing this story to let them know they soooooo aren’t alone, the struggle is real, and hopefully made you all laugh like we did about this!
P.S. I threw those damn undies away as soon as they come off! There was no saving them, they were too far gone! Hello?! GAPING HOLE HAIRY PEEK-A-BOO HERE I AM NIGHTMARE! Now I need to go do some laundry… and hopefully my new undies make it in time, cause I currently don’t have enough pairs for how many days we will be gone!!! Just. My. Luck.
P.P.S. The new pack of undies came in time, thank God! NC here I come!
