Hello Tired Troopers!
Have any of you seen the show, Life in Pieces?! If you haven’t I HIGHLY recommend! And if you or someone you know is gearing up for the big V-Day please just watch the vasectomy episode! It’s hilarious!!! The song they sing?! I lost it!!!! Oh or the show, Modern Family?!!!!! Also HIGHLY recommend! And again, if nothing else, watch the vasectomy episode… that’s where I got the blog title from! So, so, funny!
Anyways… Hubby and I always had the plan that he would get a vasectomy when we were done having kids. When we got asked at one of my pregnancy appointments if we were going to have more kids and what form of birth control I was going to use post pregnancy the doctor and nurses praised him when we told them he was getting the big V. They actually seemed shocked, which I thought was weird, but hey go ahead and give it up for my man!
The doctor who we got to do the procedure wasn’t who we originally made the appointment with, but there was a cancelation and an earlier appointment was available with a different doctor. They were 2 months out in scheduling, so we jumped on the opportunity to move the appointment up. The new doctor was Dr.Cox. I have to admit I love the fact that a doctor with the name Cox did my Hubby’s vasectomy! Not only am I a huge fan of the show Scrubs, not only is my favorite character on the show, Dr.Cox, but a real life doctor named Cox who went into urology and is going to complete my Hubby’s procedure?! So freaking awesome! Ok, nerdy, immature, hilarious, ironic, moment over…
At the pre-op appointment Dr.Cox asked him if he was a wrestler or a Marine (weird, right?) So Hubby answered, um yeah both…? Doc goes ok well this will be interesting cause in my experience wrestlers do the best with the recovery pain and Marines do the worst. Then goes i think it’s because wrestlers get used to pain and being uncomfortable. Hubby didn’t say this to doc, but he told me, um yeah doc I served 10 years and it was way more painful and uncomfortable than wrestling ever was lol now my balls never hurt, but my back, knees, shoulders, arms, legs, everything else did!
My hubby is the type of guy who flat out on his own fully admits that women are stronger when it comes to pain, sickness, or any form of discomfort. He isn’t a weenie by any means, I mean, c’mon he’s a freaking MARINE! But he absolutely admits that “the man flu” is real and that he turns into a complete baby when he is sick. Well, I had a c-section, which was the closest thing I had to compare his big V to. I know it so isn’t the same, but that’s all I had. So I tried to use my experience to help him through this anyway i could.
I drove him to his big V-Day appointment and asked if he was nervous. “No, not really. I mean, I’m not looking forward to it, I’ve spent my entire life keeping harm away from that area and now I’m going to try to willingly let them jab a needle down there soooooooooo yeah… but no, I’m ok.” “Oh well good! Just try not to think about what’s going on, because if you concentrate on the needle poke the anticipation and concentration will make it hurt much worse – i mean, if you can, just try not to…” He literally goes, “You know, I’ve never understood how women can do that, men can’t do that, I’m for sure only going to be thinking about the giant needle approaching my nads.” Welp, shoot, I tried!
We got there and sat in the waiting room. My hubby started bouncing his knees, which he never does. I leaned over and put my hand on his knee, “You nervous now?” And smiled. He laughed and said, “Yep!” I said, “Ok what really helped me leading up to my c-section was telling myself thousands of women go through this every day, so I can do this too. This is a normal, everyday procedure, you’ve got this.” They called him back and I shot up 3 quick prayers for him.
Well in preparation we looked up the procedure and found out it usually takes a half hour, so really it’s an in-and-out procedure (pun intended!) I’m sitting there watching the TV, playing on my phone, and I notice that 45 mins have gone by… ok, well, maybe they’re having him sit back there in recovery? Or maybe they went over stuff beforehand and started later? 10 more mins go by and i hear my husband’s voice… i literally sat up on the edge of the seat staring at the door. He comes waddling out totally walking bow legged, but smiled at me. Ok, here we go!
We walked to the truck and he goes, “Ok, so the doctor said what happened to me happens to about 1 in 10 men who get this done.” Okayyyyyy…? “Well, apparently i have an iron clad vas deferens…” “Okayyyy… Is that why it took so long?” He laughed and got in the truck, “Yep!” “Ok, so what does that mean?!” Well, he was working on my left ball and goes, oh you have an iron clad vas deferens, so i said what does THAT mean? He goes, oh it just means you’ve got more stuff down here. Um, what? Well, it just means your vas deferens is really thick. Um, ok… the doc goes, “it’s ok, i have a trick for these… I’m just going to need my assistant to come help with the right one.” So his assistant comes back and sure as s*** they did the right one a lot faster, but wth?! We laughed and laughed! Like who would ever know that was even a thing?! Crazy, right?!
Well I said, “ok, what do you need? Will anything make you feel better? Want a smoothie or anything or do you just want to go straight home?” He smiled and asked if we could go get ice cream. “Abso-freaking-lutely! There’s a Dairy Queen right up the road.” We pulled in, but had to wait 20 mins for them to open at 10am. It was so sweet, he went over the whole procedure, what happened, that they gave him a jock strap and 2 adorable little circular reusable ice packs… we laughed and laughed! My hubby is a very stoic guy, he doesn’t really get intimate or goofy with anyone but me, so when he does it just makes my heart flutter!
We got home and ate our ice creams and gave G’ma the rundown because she was babysitting for us. Then I set hubby up in bed to hopefully “relax”. My Mom (G’ma) had previously sent me a Pinterest find called a “Snip, Snip, Hooray! Basket”. Then she kept reminding me to buy the stuff to put together for him on his big day. (She’s the freaking BEST!) I had her film as I gave it to him, he loved it! But of course at the end when she went to stop recording she goes, “oh crap, I didn’t hit record!” Welp shoot of course that happened!
A “Snip, Snip, Hooray! Basket” is full of goodies that you print words over that utilize some words on the original packaging to make a vasectomy theme! If you’re interested, below are pictures of the basket goodies and word play that I used. I highly recommend! It’s a fun way to make light of your man’s scrotum sacrifice! Hey, laughter IS the best medicine after all!
I have to include this tid bit… looking to the future, I’m 80/20… 80% of me is going WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO no more worrying about any “oopsies” we get to get down worry free now!!!!!! Where the other 20% is going… um what if it reverses itself?!?!?!?!?!?! I’ve personally known 2 men who’s vas deferens have HEALED THEMSELVES!!!!!!!! How did they find out? Oh, they just impregnated their wives randomly! What?! Oh yes, yes, it CAN happen!
The first man was a friend of my parents. They had a son and then decided they were done, so he went ahead and did the big V. 14 years later his wife is pregnant! He actually thought that his wife cheated cause hello?! How could it be HIM?! Well they tested his sperm and oh wow, yep, look what happened! The other guy had 3 kids with his wife when they decided on the big V. 10 years later, woops, she’s preggo! How crazy is THAT?! So, as happy as I am that we made this decision and how nice it should be moving forward… I just know that these 2 instances are bound to randomly pop into my head at some point… hopefully not killing my libido in the process!
And the chances of us having another set of twins is super SUPER high. Right now I just couldn’t imagine having 2 sets of twins! Hopefully (because we waited so long to have kids) we will be too old to realistically conceive in 10+ years! Plus with his “iron clad” vas deferens, maybe it isn’t even possible to heal itself??? 🤞🤞🤞 Now, if it happens, we will roll with it. C’mon if God wants us to have more kids that bad there must be a reason, but right now that’s why I’m feeling 80/20!
And even with the 20% fear factor, I do have comfort in knowing that if we do ever change our minds that vasectomies are reversable… not that hubby or I would be super thrilled about going through this again! But stillllllll… we do like the option… juuuuuuust in case…
So, here’s to trying our best to make the “right” decision for us and our family (right now)… stay tuned…
Here’s all that went into his Snip, Snip, Horray! Basket…
Quick disclaimer here –
The Godmother, The LEGEND, told me about a coworker of hers, whose husband had a vasectomy and ended up itching it in his sleep. You know how bad certain things itch when they’re healing AND if you’ve been around any man for more than 5 mins you know they ALL scratch their balls at some point during the day… so I’m actually shocked this isn’t more of a widely known issue… but he scratched his balls and gave himself a micro cut and the germs under his fingernails (we all have them) were transferred into the wound. A few days later he was in the hospital. He ended up going septic and spent a week in the hospital!!! Now for those of you (like me) who haven’t ever heard of going septic it’s a life threatening illness! Now, this is WORST CASE SCENARIO but I had to share because it DID HAPPEN! And the poor guy did it in his sleep! How do you combat that?! Hopefully the fact that he’s a super deep sleeper will help?! But already normal itchy balls plus a healing wound down there can equal danger. So, spread the word cause this story blew my mind!
P.S. we recently went on a trip to North Carolina to attend one of my Hubby’s fellow Marine’s retirement ceremony. If you’re interested in that story pop over and read, NC trip was finally hereeeee!!!, but first read, Spontaneous (sort of) Trip, trust me, you want the background first…
Anyways, before we left for the NC trip Hubby had just gotten his V, and he legit said, “I just know one of these a** holes is gonna try and sack tap me at some point…!” To which i said, “Well, don’t be a smart a** and ask for it!” Well, sure as s*** it was late – super late – at the after party (the bar officially closed at 10 PM and it was midnight at this point) so needless to say these rowdy Marines were feeling good – when Hubby popped off to one of his buddies and they faked a sack tap! Now, they faked it – so contact wasn’t ever made… but, Hubby about hit the floor and i yelled (while laughing hysterically) “Oh no, he just had the big V!” Everyone was watching and I swear in unison they went, “What?! Really?!” So, i, (still laughing), went, “Yeah! That’s why he’s wearing sweats! He’d never wear sweats to this otherwise!”
So, his friend goes, “Dude, I’m so sorry, i had no idea!” Then immediately said, “You know, I had the big V, then got it reversed… you don’t know real pain until you have that s*** reversed!” Which subsequently ended any hopes of us ever reversing it. Hubby dead straight said absolutely NOT! But then again… he’s still healing, so the pain is fresh in his head… IF we ever want more, maybe he will forget by then?!?!?! 😅