Hello Tired Troopers,
If you’ve read my blog, Pregnancy Loss & My Precious Poppy, you know that I suffered a miscarriage and so did my bestie, Mama Bear. Well, she surprised me today and told me she is 7 weeks pregnant!!!!! Hallelujah! I was at a Burlesque show when she texted and I literally cried happy tears! Lol I’m sure i looked insane, who cries at a Burlesque show?! Tired Mama does when she finds out the best news EVERRRRRR! Side note, it was my friends 41st birthday and her wife surprised her with dinner with friends and this Burlesque show after it was so much fun!!! Highly recommend if you’ve never been! I was literally trying to take notes on some sweet moves to try on Hubby, these women were gorgeous! It definitely gave me the “oopf” I needed to actually want to start working out again lol we will see how long that lasts 🤞
Anyways, her text was this…
This was my response: (I wrote a novel, so it’s too long to screen shot)
Ok I got home and just got our little boy to sleep lol Girrrrrllllllllll!!!!!!!!! So seriously we will talk, and then talk some more! Cause the anxiety will come and go, so you reach out ANYTIME you need to talk! I had a girlfriend who had 5 miscarriages before she was blessed with their little girl. She said the longest one made it to 10 weeks… so I painstakingly counted down the days till I hit 10 weeks. I literally would talk to my belly and say, you hang on! You just stay in there! After I hit 10 weeks I calmed down… sort of… that was my first goal anyways. But I also had another girlfriend who had a horrible first pregnancy and her son ran out of room (I forget what the medical term for that is) but he came wayyyy too early. He was born at 2.5 lbs! Stayed forever in the NICU, but he is a thriving 6 year old now 🙂 just the happiest kid you’ll ever meet! So because of her first pregnancy she was terrified through her whole second pregnancy! Then she did the gender test where it tells you the odds of genetic disorders and it came back positive. She was devastated, like her anxiety went through the roof. She would literally bawl in the waiting room at her OBGYN because she would see all the “healthy” preggos there with their “healthy” babies and get jealous – which hit me hard! I felt this way when we had so much trouble getting pregnant again after my miscarriage, I was jealous of every happy family and preggo I saw! Of course she felt this way! I just wish I could have done something to magically take all that fear away, you know?! BUT that test only shows odds, so IF you take the test and IF it comes back just remember that it is only odds, it does not guarantee anything! And it turns out she had a full term completely healthy little girl who actually didn’t have any genetic disorders at all!!! So, I kept that in the back of my head… my poor friend was worried her entire pregnancy and it turned out perfectly fine. So I just really tried to focus on that! Cause if I was constantly worried about something that could potentially happen and that I had no say in whatsoever I figured that wouldn’t be good for me or my baby. So I’d just talk to it, anytime I felt those feelings and worried thoughts creep in, I’d put my hand on my belly and close my eyes and take a deep breath ❤️ then I’d talk to it. It felt weird at first, like what do I even say?! But I figured, you’re in there right now, this little miracle, and I already love you, so as long as I’ve got you I’m going to enjoy it and love you and get to know you ❤️ it almost turned my anxiety into a positive?! Cause instead of turning my attention to the worst (and trust me there were those days too!) I’d just really try to turn my attention to my little miracle instead, and concentrating on them really helped!!!! THEN when we found out it was twins, I was over the moon, buuuuuuut that came with a whole other level of anxiety lol so I tried to work through that! I’m sorry I don’t mean to preach here, but I figured welp, at least I know we can get pregnant and right now in this moment I AM PREGNANT! So I’m going to just let myself enjoy right now, today, with my little miracles! And idk if you guys are going for more or not, we were, until we found out it was 2 lol so once I realized that this was it for me I really buckled down and tried to just enjoy it cause I knew I’d never be pregnant again! That helped!!! Cause being pregnant is freaking HARD! I had no idea!!!!!! Oh and having to wait 8 weeks before the first ultrasound is criminal! I get it, but still waiting SUCKED! But oh my gosh your first ultrasound is coming up!!!!!! It’s almost here!!!!!!! 🤗🥰🤗🥰🤗🥰🤗🥰 how are you feeling?! I legit cried at the burlesque show, but happy tears!!!
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I told you my response text was a freaking NOVEL!!! But her question really got me thinking… unfortunately miscarriage is common. Way too common! So, if I felt this level of anxiety surrounding my pregnancy and 3 of my besties also felt this level of anxiety surrounding their pregnancies, there have to be millions of people out there feeling the same way too! And you are not alone! Having a baby is HARD! No matter how your baby comes into this world! Surrogacy, pregnancy, adoption, it’s all HARD! Movies and TV shows and all the “surprises” that you hear about sure make it seem like getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term is easy. It. Is. NOT!
But, please try not to worry too much. I know, easier said than done… and like I told my friend, you will have those days. The ones full of worry where you go down the rabbit hole into darkness and despair! But I promise that it will pass and you will get through it. You are much stronger than you think! Even if you think you are the strongest bad a** there is, you’re wrong! You’re EVEN STRONGER THAN THAT! So, keep it up! Keep going! One day at a time, one foot in front of the other, and you will find everything you’ve been looking for. You’ve got this!
I’m just so, so, soooooooooo over the moon excited for my friend! She has her little rainbow baby safely tucked away in her belly right now and that is all that matters ❤️🌈 this moment, right here, today! Her and her family went through one of the worst experiences ever, but just like we get to honor our angel babies, we get to celebrate our rainbow babies.
P.S. I didn’t know what a rainbow baby was. I came across the term after my miscarriage and had to look it up. I cried, because it is beautiful…
A “rainbow baby” is a child born to parents who have previously experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, such as a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death. The term symbolizes hope, as it represents a bright and beautiful rainbow appearing after a dark and turbulent storm.
Perfectly put.
